Some things are meant to be: salt and pepper, PB & J, Burt and Ernie, Puppies and love. They’re the comforting sights, smells and tastes that remind us of better times.

Some things aren’t meant to be: Russians and Roulette, Nail-guns and Toddlers, Nuts and Chewing-gum, etceteras. Rivers aren’t supposed to run red, frogs aren’t supposed to fall from the sky… but they’re about to. The end is nigh! I present you: Kool-aid Dills.

WTF:

……….”they now have an arresting color that combines green and garnet, and a bracing sour-sweet taste that they owe to a long marinade in cherry or tropical fruit or strawberry Kool-Aid.”

Again, I shit you not. Only this time, it is punny! I’d say we need a “Wacky Scandanavians” category, but I’d bet there won’t be too many nuttie stories like this one.

I have no words.

Worth more than a few chuckles …

Remote. Controlled. Vibrator.

The wife told me she bought a new TV remote. She looked so happy every time I tried to change the channel…

Metro.co.uk reports:

An Ann Summers vibrator has been deemed a threat to the national security of Cyprus.

Cypriot military fear the British made radio-controlled vibrating love egg will disrupt the army’s radio frequency and banned it from use on the island.

Good news though. It’s safe and sanitary.

As if this damn tune didn’t get stuck in my head for hours at a time already… now this?!? crap!

Better yet, where can I get a copy for the PS3? And does the girl come with it?

Cracked Magazine has stolen my brilliant idea for a K-Tel album. Seriously, I’ve been joking for years that there must be at least 10 songs about wanking. Prince, Cyndi Lauper, The DiVinyls, Violent Femmes and The Vapors were all on my preliminary list. As a big fan of The Who, I am surprised I missed their entry. Without further adieu, here is the list.

I shit you not. Read on …