One time while driving through Texas I notice that every other corner had a “Big & Tall” store. There was very little need for the Tall section, but everybody in that area was fat. Not a little fat, I mean a LOT fat! Well, I have found out why. Apparently the have been eating too often at this guy’s restaurant… What’s his specialty, you might ask?

Chicken Fried Bacon Strips

Your may have just felt your cholesterol go up just by reading the name…

I can’t wait to try it!

Where the hell does a lonely cowboy go to meet up with a slutty single cowgirl? Well, just watch the commercial and find out!

This is one bad ass cop! I pray I never run in to her!

The only kind of Do-It-Yourself penis enlargement I am interested in doing requires my hand, some lotion and a photo of Shannon Elisabeth. However, these idiots over in Cambodia have taken it a step (or several) farther by injecting hair tonic into his penis.

Apparently the pain was so intense, he hanged himself to escape the pain.

[read full story]

I consider myself to be an adventurous person. I’ll try most anything once. This, however, does not make the list.

If you are looking for penis enlargement (and when you think about it, who isn’t?), you can always check out ebay. Hell, that’s the first place I thought of. Try one of these products:

ATTENTION ATTENTION I’M EXCITED! MY FACE NEARLY EXPLODED WHEN I SAW THE AWESOMENESS OF THIS VIDEO:

Read it here: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=toughguy2007

Download it here: http://seavideo-ak.espn.go.com/motion/hu_070228ToughGuy1v.flv

The snippet of awesome:

Unnecessary is the entire point of the Tough Guy competition, a semi-annual 8-mile race through mud, manure, water, fire, more mud, barbed wire, nets, electrical charges, still more mud, smoke grenades, sewer pipes, ice, even more mud, ropes, cables, tires — did I mention mud? — on a horse farm in England’s West Midlands. To get an idea of what Tough Guy is all about, just drive up to the farmhouse where a large canvas banner depicting Jesus Christ’s removal from the cross decorates a barn. Written next to Jesus: “The Original Tough Guy.”

BikeForest.com asks the question:

Have you ever wished you could get a quality treadmill workout without paying expensive gym prices?

What a stupid fucking question! Why not ask, “Have you ever wished you could lick your own butthole?”

The idea of a treadmill is to walk in one place while avoiding the elements outside. So, why in the world would I need to put wheels on my walking? It just makes no sense. If you are going to go outside for a walk, do you really need a treadmill to do it? And, a treadmill with wheels… ridiculous!

You decide …

Just to be a contestant on this game show, they could not pay me enough.

And you thought Super Press Your Luck was bad when they dropped Cheetos on the players head for hitting a wammy.

I wonder if you can get this bundled with soap on a rope…?