I remember being a kid and looking up to superheros. Batman was cool. Superman was cool. WonderWoman was pretty smokin’ hot… But Captain America, he was THE SHIT! He swooped and and saved the day over and over again.

I guess, in the past 20-ish years, superheroing has failed to keep Captain America gainfully employed. Turns out, he is now a doctor down in Florida. It also turns out that he and his other superhero friends like to go around shoving burritos in their pants and groping girls… Well, who doesn’t, is all I can say…

Unfortunately, the Florida police didn’t find it all that cool and have arrested him. Check out the video of Captain America going to jail. This is right before he lined up the rest of the prisoners and decided which one would be his bitch tonight.