The doctors point out some ancient tried and true methods for penis enlargement, but these aren’t any more comfortable. Indian Sadhus men, for example, use weights to increase their penis length, while the Topamina of Brazil encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penises to get a size boost that lasts six months.

Penis Myths Debunked - LiveScience.com

First spiders, now this. I wish I were fucking kidding.

“With great power comes great responsibility!”

Wiser words could have not been spoken to the then young Spider Man by his Uncle Ben. Before his “Spidey” abilities he was simply Peter Parker who was given special powers by a simple spider bite.

Now, farmers in Chile are tempted to start marketing “special powers” to men through the means of a simple spider bite. There will be some risk, no doubt, since the spider is a breed of Black Widow that is known to kill children, elderly, and those with weak immune systems. It will cause days of pain regardless of your age or health, and may cause for a few embarrassing moments as you lose control of bodily function.

But is the trade off worth it? Fuck yeah!

Like one of Peter Parker’s special abilities, this spider will increase your muscle mass…overnight!

…of your penis!

And just like Peter (seems like a more fitting character name now doesn’t it?) was able to launch uncontrolled shots of web-goo at first, one of the side effects of this spider bite is random uncontrolled ejaculations. Your’s just won’t be from your wrists.

it leads to erections that can last for days and involve involuntary ejaculations…At the end of the ordeal, the man is left sexually energized and feels physically stronger…

A final benefit: The spider-venom kills off any active sperm like a spermicide. Birth control built into a penis enlargement product? Brilliant!

The venom of the [spider] has spermicidal properties not found in black widows in other regions of the world

Now good luck as you try not to run away screaming like a girl when you go in for a “procedure” and they throw a huge, aggravated, angry spider on your dick.

[Story Link]

Ann Summers turns her iPod in to a love toy and Apple calls their lawyers? If they were real men, they would demand a demonstration and call all their buddies to come over and watch!

newsoftheworld.co.uk reports:

Women all over Britain are saying yes, yes, yes to the £30 iGasm that plugs into a music player and delivers good vibrations that pulse to the beat.

But shocked iPod bosses are iRate—demanding stores take down all posters for the gadget or risk a fight in the iCourt.

The neon-pink ads feature a curvaceous girl with wires coming OUT of her MP3 player and INTO her knickers. And it’s definitely turned on.

Why must they crap on all good things??

Share Music iPod to iPod!!! No Restrictions!!

Yep, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it all now. The nice folks over at bettybeauty.com have put out a product that helps you get rid of the boring hair color you have in your pants.

Labeled as “Color for the hair down there”, you can now have a “Fun Betty”, “Sun-Burst Betty”, “Blonde Betty” or one of the other 6 colors they have to choose from.

You have to read the testimonials on their site. They are fantastic!

“Changing clothes in the locker room at the gym is going to be awkward for a while. My new pink shrubbery is pretty striking!” - John, Las Vegas (oh crap! How did they get that one?)

Worth more than a few chuckles …

Cracked Magazine has stolen my brilliant idea for a K-Tel album. Seriously, I’ve been joking for years that there must be at least 10 songs about wanking. Prince, Cyndi Lauper, The DiVinyls, Violent Femmes and The Vapors were all on my preliminary list. As a big fan of The Who, I am surprised I missed their entry. Without further adieu, here is the list.

Ewww. Poo.

Quote: “The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant, where he continued to stab himself.“
Uhh I think this snippet from the article should sum it up, but click here if you wanna read it.

 Chew on that one for a bit!

For decades religious zealots have been waiting for the second coming of Jesus… Well, wait no longer. We have found him!

Originally found at dvorak.org