I’m so sick of all the Viagra commercials. All they talk about is how to make your dick hard. Hell, I can do that. I’m looking for a way to make mine longer. Thanks to this genius here, I think I have a plan!!

Metro Reports:

Jaja Stone thrills a crowd in Jakarta, Indonesia, by pulling a bus along… with his penis.

It was part of a strong man contest to mark the city’s 480th anniversary. Mr Stone proved he had balls of steel by pulling the 8.9- tonne bus 50m (55 yards) using his genitals.

Why didn’t I think of this sooner?

When a girl brings home her boyfriend to meet the parents, there is always some amount of skepticism on the parents part. Never more-so than when Sharon Tendler let her folks know that she met the man, err, fish of her dreams.

This British braniac has fallen in love with a dolphin and for the past 15 years has been pining over the slippery suiter. She recently made it official and tied the knot with the 35 year old dolphin.

MSN reports:

In a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, Tendler, a 41-year-old British citizen, apparently became the world’s first person to “marry” a dolphin.

Dressed in a white dress, a veil and pink flowers in her hair, Tendler got down on one knee on the dock and gave Cindy a kiss. And a piece of herring.
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“It’s not a perverted thing. I do love this dolphin. He’s the love of my life,” she said Saturday, upon her return to London.

Apparently the marriage may already be on the rocks after the menu for the reception dinner included tuna casserole.

While she still kept open the option of “marrying human” at some stage, she said for now she was strictly a “one-dolphin woman.”

She’s hardly the jealous type, though.

“He will still play with all the other girls there,” she said, of their prenuptial agreement. “I hope he has a lot of baby dolphins with the other dolphins. The more dolphins the better.”

The father of the bride was quoted after the ceremony saying “When she got her heart broken years ago, I told her there were other fish in the sea. This is NOT what I meant!”

To hear my mother tell it, this is how I was about absolutely everything as a kid.

I don’t know that much has changed. I feel I should be typing IN ALL CAPS AND WITH LOTS OF EXCLAMATIONS!!!!!!!

I love that joke! But seriously…

We complain that our government spends so much money on a war… At least we don’t have to deal with this one, yet.

Reuters reports:

Poland’s conservative government took its drive to curb what it sees as homosexual propaganda to the small screen on Monday, taking aim at Tinky Winky and the other Teletubbies.

Ewa Sowinska, government-appointed children rights watchdog, told a local magazine published on Monday she was concerned the popular BBC children’s show promoted homosexuality.

She said she would ask psychologists to advise if this was the case.

In comments reminiscent of criticism by the late U.S. evangelist Jerry Falwell, she was quoted as saying: “I noticed (Tinky Winky) has a lady’s purse, but I didn’t realize he’s a boy.”

I love how it’s always these adults who want to “protect” children from shows where a character may be gay. WTF are they protecting them from, exactly? I’ve never once heard a little boy say, “I just finished watching the Teletubbies. One of them was carrying a purse. I’m gonna go suck a dick.”

New sports are created all the time. It wasn’t that many years ago that Snowboarding didn’t even exist. And now, you can’t crap in Colorado without hitting a snowboarder.

For those of you who don’t have the funds to go out and get yourself a snowboard and all the gear, here’s a sport that perhaps you can afford. Port-a-Potty racing. No, this is not a race to the potty after a large lunch at Taco Bell. This is a way for Nascar level fans to spend their energy and get some exercise.

I guess during the lulls involved in being an actor and/or governor you gotta do these little jobs here and there for some extra money. But come on, I don’t think I could ever take these two seriously again. Although, how seriously could you take them in the first place?

Schwarzenegger advertising… something.

Cage also advertising something.

When this kid says he wants more milk and cookies, your punk-ass better step up with some milk and fucking cookies!

“Bubba” Ludwig doesn’t wipe his own ass yet, but he’ll bust a cap in yours. This 10 month old, 2 foot 3 inch kid in Illinois received his gun permit after his dad paid the $5 bucks and filled out the application.

cnn.com reports:

Ludwig, 30, of Chicago, applied for the card after his own father bought Bubba a 12-gauge Beretta shotgun as a gift. The weapon will probably be kept at Ludwig’s father’s house until the boy is at least 14.

10 bucks says that Grandpa sits around with Bubba trying to get him to say, “Go ahead, make my day!”

“I have never seen a full Brewers season where they make the playoffs. Born in July 1982, I missed that amazing World Series run. It’s been a long 24 years- the longest playoff drought in baseball. With a young team of quality stars and shrewd management, we’re boldly making our move. I get so excited thinking about the Brewers now, a little pee comes out. In fact,

When the Brewers
make the playoffs
I will pee my pants.

This is no joke, Check it out hereÂ

I have no words.