Do you really feel safe with a fake ADT sticker on your doorstep to deter potential (as in potentially dumb) thieves from breaking into your home? You need to make it known that you mean business when it comes to protecting your home, family, and property. You need the Portal Denial System!

This security system will have your local crooks pooping their pants in pure fear as they watch a combined plasma, laser, and lightning beam create a visible force field to the entry to your home.

Did you catch that!?

A FUCKING PLASMA + LASER + LIGHTNING BEAM!!

[via Oh oh oh oh Ohhhhhhhh OhGizmo!]

I’ve said it 1000 times, “Good tattoos aren’t cheap, cheap tattoos aren’t good.”

Need more proof? How’s this?

Who doesn’t love going on a cruise? What’s not to love. Round the clock buffets, shuffleboard, crappy lounge singers, cavity searches at every port, dysentery… what’s not to love?

Oh, I can answer that… How about a cyclone that threatens to make you the star of Titanic 2?!

Check out this vid over at vidmax.com

Quote: “The man then picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant, where he continued to stab himself.“
Uhh I think this snippet from the article should sum it up, but click here if you wanna read it.

 Chew on that one for a bit!

Something tells me the fat kid is going to need to sleep with one eye open from now on!

I consider it a bad day at the office if I have to use the restroom in the front lobby.

National Geographic reports:

Veterinarian Chang Po-yu was reaching through iron bars to remove tranquilizer darts before treating the 440-pound (200-kilogram) reptile when the inadequately sedated animal bit the vet’s forearm off.

First off, I hope this guy was right-handed… And, may I suggest a desk job?