Give it to me big dog!

If you live under a rock, you may not know about the LOLCats phenomenon sweeping the Internets. This gem is from tehcats.com.

Your tax dollars at work, people!!!

CBS reports:

A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.

The report goes on to say:

As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, “One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.”

The documents show the Air Force lab asked for $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon.

Ohh goody. 7.5 Million to make these dudes want to bone other dudes… If you talk to enough gay folks they’ll tell you that a 12 pack of Budweiser does the same thing.

This oyster farmer in Australia doesn’t think his oysters are getting his customers horny enough. So, he has tried several dozen ways to make them an even bigger turn-on.

First he tried putting tiny oyster lingerie on them. With the lack of shoulders and hips, it was really difficult to keep them on for long. The makeup didn’t work either. They oysters still looked like rocks but with lipstick.

Well, he now has some hard evidence that he’s on the right track.

Yahoo News reports:

An Australian oyster farmer has hit upon a technique he believes has created the ultimate aphrodisiac — feeding his shellfish the drug Viagra.

“I’m getting calls from Macau, Hong Kong, Moscow for god’s sake. I’m getting calls from all over the bloody world.”

If you try some of this farmers oysters, be sure not to stiff your waiter.

Well, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who heads down to the park, rolls around on the grass and then rubs one out… I try not to have mine caught on video, though…

The doctors point out some ancient tried and true methods for penis enlargement, but these aren’t any more comfortable. Indian Sadhus men, for example, use weights to increase their penis length, while the Topamina of Brazil encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penises to get a size boost that lasts six months.

Penis Myths Debunked - LiveScience.com

First spiders, now this. I wish I were fucking kidding.

“With great power comes great responsibility!”

Wiser words could have not been spoken to the then young Spider Man by his Uncle Ben. Before his “Spidey” abilities he was simply Peter Parker who was given special powers by a simple spider bite.

Now, farmers in Chile are tempted to start marketing “special powers” to men through the means of a simple spider bite. There will be some risk, no doubt, since the spider is a breed of Black Widow that is known to kill children, elderly, and those with weak immune systems. It will cause days of pain regardless of your age or health, and may cause for a few embarrassing moments as you lose control of bodily function.

But is the trade off worth it? Fuck yeah!

Like one of Peter Parker’s special abilities, this spider will increase your muscle mass…overnight!

…of your penis!

And just like Peter (seems like a more fitting character name now doesn’t it?) was able to launch uncontrolled shots of web-goo at first, one of the side effects of this spider bite is random uncontrolled ejaculations. Your’s just won’t be from your wrists.

it leads to erections that can last for days and involve involuntary ejaculations…At the end of the ordeal, the man is left sexually energized and feels physically stronger…

A final benefit: The spider-venom kills off any active sperm like a spermicide. Birth control built into a penis enlargement product? Brilliant!

The venom of the [spider] has spermicidal properties not found in black widows in other regions of the world

Now good luck as you try not to run away screaming like a girl when you go in for a “procedure” and they throw a huge, aggravated, angry spider on your dick.

[Story Link]

Ann Summers turns her iPod in to a love toy and Apple calls their lawyers? If they were real men, they would demand a demonstration and call all their buddies to come over and watch!

newsoftheworld.co.uk reports:

Women all over Britain are saying yes, yes, yes to the £30 iGasm that plugs into a music player and delivers good vibrations that pulse to the beat.

But shocked iPod bosses are iRate—demanding stores take down all posters for the gadget or risk a fight in the iCourt.

The neon-pink ads feature a curvaceous girl with wires coming OUT of her MP3 player and INTO her knickers. And it’s definitely turned on.

Why must they crap on all good things??

Share Music iPod to iPod!!! No Restrictions!!

Anyone up for some online play?

(click image for full size ad)

Worth more than a few chuckles …