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Sin City should be very afraid!

Celebs, Music 1 Comment »
Posted by: John

I know that Las Vegas is the reigning king of debauchery, but, what the hell did we do to deserve this??? We didn’t kill any small animals. We didn’t feed our young to the lions. OK, we did give Celine Dion her own show, but seriously this is just downright cruel!

NME says:

Michael Jackson has plans for a 50-foot robotic replica of himself to be sited in the Nevada desert just outside Las Vegas.

Mike Luckman, of media consultants Luckman Van Pier, said: “It would be in the desert sands. Laser beams would shoot out of it so it would be the first thing people flying in would see. Neon is wonderful, but it’s old school.”

Well, I guess I’ll get to work on my Michael Jackson/robot/small boys jokes now…

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 ThinkGeek T-Shirts will make you cool!

Little Mo’ Sheep: 15% Human and 85% Sheep Mix Is 100% Furry Lovin.

Better Than Fiction, Weird Science, Sex, Odd Products 3 Comments »
Posted by: mofo

As much as he’s tried to hide it, we’ve all known about John’s fetish for farm animal porn and furry conventions. Today is THE big day for John because scientists at the University of Nevada (where John hangs out on the weekend (and now we know why)) have leaked the outing of John’s new faithful, yet furry, companion: Little Mo’ Sheep! Read the rest of this entry »

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Candidates for the worst commercial ever

Commercials 3 Comments »
Posted by: John

Candidate #1.

I can’t decide which is worse, the way this guy talks, the creepy frog or the guy with hedge clippers… you decide.

Candidate #2.

OK, so somebody gave an eagle a handful of pills and then put him on camera. Then, he craps out low rates right on the hood. GENIUS I say!

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Move over Indiana Jones

Movies No Comments »
Posted by: John

Watch out, there’s a new action hero coming to the big screen. Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford and Keanu Reeves better step it up or they will lose all their starring roles to Paco Gonzalez.

Check out this clip over at eBaumsworld.com

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Mario Bros. theme, with lyrics in Japanese

Video Games, Wacky Japanese No Comments »
Posted by: John

Hell, if that title doesn’t just say it all, huh? With an intro like that, I’m going to just shut up and pass the mic to the Japanese chic… Rock on, little lady.

Here are the lyrics to the song:

Go Go Mario

Today, full of energy, Mario is still running, running
Go save Princess Peach! Go!
Today, full of energy, Mario runs
Today, full of energy, jumping!
Today, full of energy, searching for coins
Today, keep going, Mario!

Get a mushroom - it’s Super Mario!
Get a flower - it’s Fire Mario!

Goomba! Troopa! Buzzy Beetle! Beat them all!
Mario is always full of energy and strong!

[Spoken] The only one who can reverse the spell that has captured the Mushroom People is Princess Peach. But Princess Peach is hidden underground, in a far-off castle. Ah, the days of peace… if we could once more return to those days… to save Princess Peach and bring peace back to the Mushroom Kingdom, that is why Mario is on his journey today.

Today, full of energy, Mario is still running, running
Go and beat the Koopa tribe, go!
Today, full of energy, Mario runs
Today, full of energy, jumping!
Today, full of energy, searching for coins
Today, keep going, Mario!

Get a star - become invincible!
Quickly, go save Princess Peach!

Lakitu! Blooper! Cheep Cheep! Beat them all!
Mario is always full of energy and strong!

Today, full of energy, Mario is still running, running
He’s made it to the castle and gets fireworks!
Lightly sidestepping the Hammer Bros.
Show the last of your power, Mario!
It’s been a long journey but it’s nearly at an end
You’ve done it, you’ve done it! You’ve defeated Bowser!

Princess Peach says “Thank you”
Mario’s got a great big heart!

Mario’s adventure is over for now, but
Mario’s dream lives forever…

Originally found at GameTab

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That’s a lovely White Zin you are wearing

Fashion No Comments »
Posted by: John

Wine Dress
I’ve never claimed to be the best dressed guy at a party, but I like to think I at least know what looks good and what doesn’t. And, wouldn’t it seem that if you were going to a party, you’d want to at least be comfortable?

The dress shown is made from red wine and is made in the style of a cavewoman’s dress.

The model is also made up to look like a cavewoman and is supposed to be emerging from a primordial swamp, says Cass.

“It’s a great narrative to talk about the evolution of a new garment,” he says.

Cass says other alcoholic drinks can be used to ferment fabrics.

“As long as we have alcohol, these bacteria will do their job,” he says, adding that one dresses has a clear panel made from beer.

Read the entire article here.

I’m thinking that the makers of this dress had a few too many drinks prior to coming up with the idea… This isn’t the first product that was invented after a night of drinking. Hell, Ronco has made a millions selling crazy products that must have been thought up while under the influence.

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The Blues Travelers want to kill you

Music No Comments »
Posted by: John

I remember when the Blues Travelers where a happy-go-lucky band. But things must have started going down hill.

Popper, 39, was arrested Tuesday afternoon
on Interstate 90 near the Spokane/Lincoln county line, the Washington
State Patrol said.

Inside the black Mercedes SUV, officers found a cache of weapons and
a small amount of marijuana, the Patrol said. A police dog searched the
vehicle, finding numerous hidden compartments containing four rifles,
nine handguns and a switchblade knife. Authorities also found a Taser
and night vision goggles. The vehicle was seized.

Read the entire story

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My junk hurts just thinking about it!

Genitals No Comments »
Posted by: John

Why is it almost every good story about somebody getting hurt starts off with somebody being drunk or somebody trying to mimic a scene from Jackass? Hey, this story has it all!

Turns out Jared Anderson isn’t smart enough to be a Jackass, he’s just a dumb ass. he let somebody douse his sack with lighter fluid after watching one of the Jackass movies… Hilarity ensued as he spent some time soaking his nuts in the tub before being taken to the hospital.

Witnesses told police that Anderson, who was drunk, volunteered to do the stunt Sunday after watching the movie, the complaint said.

According to the complaint:

Anderson pulled down his pants and let Peterson spray him with lighter fluid. When the fire didn’t catch, Peterson sprayed more lighter fluid on Anderson, splashing some on his clothing. He tried again to light the fire, catching Anderson’s genitals, hands and clothes.

Read the rest of the story here.

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The human Slinky

Wacky Japanese 3 Comments »
Posted by: John

I have no reason to think that this could have been done by anybody other than those wacky Japanese.

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Joan Rivers Must Die

Celebs No Comments »
Posted by: John

As if there isn’t already plenty of reasons to hate Joan Rivers, she had to go and do this?

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